M.I.A

I’ve not made this baby a priority lately which isn’t good because I love writing and getting my thoughts and feelings all out. I’m going to change that as of now. I’ve been feeling very off lately, but not in a bad way I guess, just very confused. I think way too much, my brain is always going, I barely sleep, I go out too much to stop thinking, I waste my money and time, I just feel like I’m in a never ending pattern, you know? I don’t know how to break it. I just look for something to do so I don’t stay home bored. I don’t have heaps of friends in Campbelltown that actually want to hang out, most of the friends that I’d want to be around live about an hour away or in different states. I like socialising and being with people, I’ve gotta stop being so lazy and just drive up and see my friends. 

Captured by Bryce Dean.

I feel like there’s a lot happening but then nothing happening at the same time. I wanna do so much but then sit and be lazy. I wanna meditate but I can’t stop thinking. I wanna start exercising but I don’t wanna walk out the door. I’m a walking contradiction. I’m just so confused about everything. This isn’t a negative rant either, I’m just letting all my thoughts fly. 
I’ve got some projects coming up in the next few weeks, some shoots will be taking place which is super exciting! I’ve been looking into photography/social media/styling courses so I can leave my job. I really don’t like my workplace, if anyone knows of any jobs please hit me up so I can leave lol. I’ll be starting a new part of my blog which will be called ‘Profile’ and be about the people I am inspired by. I want to try and do this with people I take photos of and anyone else that catches my eye. It’s time to knuckle down on this! 
I know everyone feels confused, sometimes I feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t know what the heck they’re doing on this planet. Where am I going to live? How do I save for anything? What am I doing for the rest of my life? Sometimes I feel weak, because the people before us could do it, why can’t we? I’m heading in so many different directions with this post but it’s just about how confused I am and how confusing this has been to read. It’s 12:36am, I’m still up. Just sorting through the sift that is my brain. 

– Jade. 

Owning Your Individuality 

You know that thing you’re scared of doing but if you did it you’d be really happy? 

Why don’t you just do it? 

Individuality is a hard thing to find sometimes because of fear. Sometimes we tend to stick to trends because it’s what everyone is doing, we blend and nothing changes till the next trend comes around. 

I fall into that trap all the time and try to get out of it and remember that I’m Jade, not that other person. School years are the worst time for individuality. Unless you have amazing friends, no one encourages anyone to be who they want. Everyone is a clone. I was a clone. I was scared to do what I liked or even listen to the music I liked in case it wasn’t up to a standard. Completely ridiculous. 

As this year progresses I’m noticing a lot of change in myself. I’m becoming who I want to be. Starting this blog scared me, I hate people looking, reading or watching things I make/do but I really want to do it. I like writing, I like taking pictures, I like making short clips. It’s fun for me. I love it. I never would have done this in high school. Individuality is also about growing up and not caring about what others think. 

Snapped by: Elijah at Motorik

Being an individual is to do what others won’t. It is to do what freaks you out. We’re often scared to do what we actually want because we’re scared of what happens once we succeed. Something great can come out of your individuality. 

We should never hold back from where our passions lie. Encourage yourself to do what you like even when you’re doubting it. Be confident in what you’re doing. Put yourself out there and get involved. Ask the questions, get the answers. Don’t be afraid of the word “no”, it’s just a word. Practice, practice and practice. Keep doing it. Talk to people about your passion and express yourself. Get excited. If you love it, show it off. Dress the way you want, even if it scares you. The more you’re scared the better it’ll be. 

Owning yourself is to be accepting of other people. You’re doing your thing, they’re doing theirs. Even if you don’t like it, who cares? Just let them be. Owning your individuality is to not let other people’s actions bring you down, that’s their problem to deal with. Being an individual is to have enough confidence to back yourself up without anyone else to help you because you believe in yourself. Being an individul is to not be forced to do something, to only do what feels right for you. Own your choices and your opinions. Be with people that build you up, and build them up in return. Spend time with people you admire and love. They have your best interest at heart and want to see you succeed. 

I leave you with a thought, or maybe a challenge. 
The next time something scares you and your brain goes haywire, please go and do that scary thing. Then tell me about it. Repeat for the rest of your life. 

Jade. 

20 Things I’ve Learnt in 20 Years

These are things that I have learnt from people over the course of my life. Sometimes they have been sad lessons learned, it’s brought me to where and who I am today, and I am proud of who I am becoming. Let’s see what another 20 years knowledge will bring. 

  1. Be yourself. Don’t be scared to be the most authentic version of you that could ever be. 
  2. You don’t always have to understand but you can accept things for the way they are.
  3. Being kind and generous ensures happiness.
  4. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh.
  5. Sometimes you won’t have everything put together. It’s ok to cry and be upset. Just try your hardest to get out of bad situations and not repeat them.
  6. If you do every little thing that you actually need to do straight away when you think of it, your life will be much easier.
  7. Listening and hearing are two different things. Try to always listen. If an opinion is asked, give. If not, you don’t even have to say anything. Sometimes all a person needs is to be heard, properly. 
  8. Putting your happiness first is not selfish, unless it harms someone else or makes someone else sad. Otherwise, make yourself happy. 
  9. Kill (not literally) people with kindness. That way they know that no matter what they say or do to you, you will not be affected. 
  10. Always help where you can. Giving is so nice to do. 
  11. Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t stop yourself from doing things that you want to do because of what others might think of you. 
  12. People come and go in life. That’s ok. Appreciate them while they are here, when they have to go, let them. 
  13. When you’re sad, look dead in the mirror and smile. You will feel better after. 
  14. Meditation is a wonderful tool to help centre yourself. 
  15. Open up to people and be honest. Sometimes all a person wants is to talk to you. Don’t be a brick wall, speak back. 
  16. Veganism is a wonderful thing for the planet, the animals and your health. 
  17. Family is everything. Look after them. Don’t say things you’ll regret. Hug your parents, call your nana and pop, our time together will end one day. So make it all count now. 
  18. Show people you love them. Tell them you love them. Don’t be scared if they don’t love you back. Worst case they don’t. But at least you told them. 
  19. Don’t change for anyone. Someone will like you just the way you are. 
  20. Life is amazing. We all have a choice. Everyday. Make good choices, do something that will make you smile, laugh, or make a good story. Enjoy your time here. 

European Chronicles: France

I’ve put off writing about Europe for so long it’s ridiculous. I thought it was about time I finally type out my experience and share my personal opinion on my travels across the continent.

I always believed I had this imaginary connection with Paris, for I hadn’t been before, and when I got there I was underwhelmed, scared even. Don’t get me wrong, Paris is stunning. Its architecture, history, icons, gardens, and food; it’s all wonderful, but something about it put me off ever going back.

img_8092

You see, Parisian people take pride in their language, culture and in who they are. We found we would get judged quite quickly and that sometimes no one wanted to help you at all. They treat you as if you are invisible in the street, walking and barging into you like a grid iron game. We asked a woman working at the train station service desk for help on a train line, we said, “Bonjour, do you speak English?” She replied with a “yes” and proceeded to tell us the instructions in French. We asked her again and she said yes for a second time, then repeated the details in French once more. We gave up, said merci and walked away. I understand how precious culture is and it not being lost, but we are all human, I’m just from another place asking for some help.

From the airport to the hotel, Tash and I nearly died five times. Driving there is insane, there are no rules. The hotel staff were so lovely and helpful, every morning at breakfast they were so nice to us. The only downside is that being a vegan in Paris was quite hard, we lived off pizza and pasta, bread and jam or fruit. It wasn’t until after we left Paris that we discovered all the hidden vegan places online, we should have got into that earlier. The night we arrived we showered and went straight out, instant regret. I had never been so tired in my life, we had been awake for over 24 hours. We walked around the city, seeing some major sites (our hotel was just 60 metres away from the Arc de Triomphe) and eating some good pizza. We made the trek back to the hotel and fell into the deepest sleep of our life.

IMG_7901

The next two days that we spent in Paris were quite fun and eye-opening. We caught the train to Disneyland Paris and spent the entire day there. I enjoyed the second park a lot more than actual Disneyland itself. There were more crazy, heart racing rides. We made friends with a Kiwi family who were driving around Europe. We didn’t get back till late that night. The next day we went to Versailles which was stunning and made me want to learn all about the history of King Louis and Mary Antoinette. On the way back home from Versailles, we had an encounter with this elderly woman. She sat next to us and didn’t say anything at first. The ticket guards came down the isle and checked all our tickets and stopped at the woman. She had bought the wrong ticket (she was told by her hotel that it was the right one) and the guard ended up charging her fifty euros. After the guards left we started talking to her. We found out that she was a university student in Paris in the 60’s. She’s been in the same French speaking social club for 52 years. She is a writer and went to Versailles that day to show them the book she wrote about King Louis that they are thinking about publishing for the English speaking tourists that visit. She is a film director and producer and she is also one of the most interesting humans I’ve met. When we reached our stop, we hugged her and said we were happy to have met her. I wish her all the best in life and only hope she continues her work.

We left for London the day after, my favourite place of the whole trip. I’d gladly move there tomorrow.

 

Creating 

Ahoy there,

I’m going to start creating more and more content very soon. I want to experiment with some freelance creation. I want to style, photograph, film, and just create everything. I don’t have fancy, flashy cameras, I’ll probably shoot mostly everything on film and just get them developed and then save for a good camera. I’ll make videos on my phone and edit them on my laptop, I’ll upload them. Whether it be videos from my shoot, a theme I want to explore, or weekend with my mates. Something that can help me to create because I am losing myself. I’ve been creating since I can remember, I’ve always drawn, sculpted or painted. As I’ve gotten older my interests have moved elsewhere, I still love art, just in different formats. I want to explore and see what I can do, even if I make mistakes, things can turn out better when you’re not trying. I’ve been listening to a lot of different music and getting inspired to create some art to go along with the songs I’ve been listening to. I wanna make some cool stuff to put out into the world. Everything will be uploaded to this blog – this is my gallery. I can show my true self here and all the things I’m proud of, all my creations, thoughts and feelings. I’m so excited to get super honest and show everybody what I can make. If I ask you to be apart of my projects and you agree that would mean a lot to me, that means I am inspired by you and I want to capture you. 
Thank you if you read this friends, I love u so much x
Jade. 

P.S. – I also have a lot of stuff to write about my Europe trip, there is so much to do, I am beaming! 

début

Début is French for ‘start’. March 9th is the start of this little blog for my complicated mind. It’s the start of personal growth. The start of confidence. The start of the Jade I’ve always wanted to be.

I feel a connection to the French way. I don’t know if it’s the aesthetic that the country holds, how everything seems so effortlessly perfect, calm, and beautiful. The views, the many photos I’ve seen. It’s the country I’m most excited to visit when I leave in 20 days for my European adventure. I’m nervous, but a good nervous. It’s the kind of nervous feeling you get when you know something good is about to happen. It is awakening my soul and I know it’s the catalyst I need in order to change a few of my bad habits. This trip has already taught me a few things and I haven’t even left the country yet! It’s taught me that I can’t save for crap. It’s a weakness of mine, but slowly I am getting better. It’s my goal to be able to save after this trip. To not be dumb with money because even though money is not important at all, it is a useful tool to get through life.

I’ve not much to say right now, I think of things as I go. I just wanted to make a small introduction to the blog and not leave any gaps. There will be a variety of things spoken about here, I am not limiting myself to anything. Purely an open diary that people can read, relate and take something from and hopefully learn a little bit about themselves, whether that’s through me or something that they’ve always had within.

Thanks for reading,

Jade.